


Brother

by SteebRogurz



Series: All I Want [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Brothers, F/M, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Sorry Not Sorry, Steve Angst, Steve Rogers Angst, pure grade A angst, there is no happiness in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22365031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SteebRogurz/pseuds/SteebRogurz
Summary: Steve says goodbye to Bucky for the last time.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Reader
Series: All I Want [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1609903
Kudos: 5





	Brother

**Author's Note:**

> this is the sequel to All I Want

The crisp morning air bit at Steve’s ears and blew through his hair as he sped down the highway in silence. You were still asleep when he left and after she had spent the night crying he figured he still had at least a few hours before she woke up, and this was something he needed to do alone. 

He needed to say goodbye to his best friend. His brother.

Fifteen minutes later he had parked his motorcycle and started up the forest path to the small clearing where you and Steve both stood a month ago holding each other for support. It wasn’t a difficult walk nor a long one, but every step he took towards that beautiful and terrible place was pure agony. His heart wanted nothing more than to turn around if only to preserve what little was left unbroken but he kept going, he had to or the grief would consume him.

When Steve reached the small clearing he stopped just at the edge of the trees, his heart hammered in his chest and he struggled to breathe over the lump that had formed in his throat. The sunlight filtered through the trees above, illuminating the clearing in a soft glow and for the first time since he set out on this mission Steve wasn’t sure if he could go through with it. This was Bucky’s favourite place and he brought Steve here every once in a while when they needed to get away from the city and their responsibilities for a few hours. It used to bring him peace but ever since he spread Bucky’s ashes among the wildflowers and ferns it only brought him pain. 

Unable to bring himself to step beyond the trees, Steve sank to his knees feeling his heart break all over again. He was no stranger to this feeling of loss especially when it came to Bucky but it never got any easier. So he sat there at the edge of the clearing and cried until the tears ran dry and he was finally able to speak. 

“Hey Buck,” he sniffled wiping his face on his sleeve. “Do you remember when we were kids chasing each other through the streets? Getting into fights- okay I was getting into fights but you were always there to back me up.” He paused. “You were always there for me. Even after I became Captain America I was still just Steve to you. And when we were in the trenches I could always count on you to be there beside me.“ 

Steve looked out into the clearing and watched the bees buzz from flower to flower a flash of red caught his attention at the other side of the clearing but nothing came. "Y/N’s been staying with me and I’m trying to be strong for her, to be that shoulder for her to cry on but it’s hard. I don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. She misses you… I miss you-” his words were choked off by another sob and he buried his face in his hands. 

“I should’ve- I should’ve been there for you. Maybe if I had paid more attention I could’ve done more to help you. I never said this enough when you were alive but I love you. You’re my brother and we’ve been forced down different paths before but we always seemed to find our way back to each other. And I have to believe that we’ll find each other after all this, just one more time…” Steve’s words seemed to float on the breeze as he spoke. And when he couldn’t anymore, he closed his eyes and sat in silence just listening to the breeze as it whispered through the leaves around him. 

He took in a deep breath almost finding peace in this place again when a bird song sounded next to him. He opened his eyes and looked over to see a cardinal sitting on a low branch watching him. For some unknown reason the sight of the vibrant red bird brought a smile to his face, and he felt a sense of comfort as he watched it jump from branch to branch. Suddenly, his phone rang pulling him out of his thoughts he looked down at the screen to see a picture of you and Bucky smiling a him.

“Hey Y/N, sorry I just went for a drive, I’ll be back in about 20 minutes.” He hung up shortly after and looked around expecting to see that the cardinal had flown away but it was still there, watching him. 

Steve took one last deep steadying breath before he stood, “goodbye Buck.” A few more tears fell as he left the clearing feeling as if he’d left a part himself back there but he kept walking. 

——-

Steve found you curled up in the armchair wrapped in the fluffiest blanket he owned when he walked through the door. You took one look at him and knew exactly where he had been. 

“You went to see him,” your eyes tearing up as you spoke.

Steve only nodded, leaning against the door frame for support when you suddenly stood and walked into the kitchen without a word. When Steve walked in after you he found you standing in front of the coffee maker gripping the counter so hard you hands were shaking.

“Y/N…” Steve reached out and placed a hand on your shoulder, and as soon as you felt his touch you turned and wrapped your arms tightly around his waist. Your body didn’t shake like the last time he held you but neither of you could help the tears that fell for the hundredth time. They stood like this, holding onto each other for support when he heard the same bird song from the clearing.

Steve looked up to see the same cardinal sitting on the window ledge and that sense of peace from before washed over him again. He suddenly knew what that cardinal was trying to tell him, they would be okay. Bucky was still with them, watching over them, and waiting to see them again. 


End file.
